Should Be...

I should be practicing the song I'm going to sing at the Relief Society Talent night...
I should be soaking beans so that I can make up some re-fried beans for my family to have in burritos....
I should be getting stuff figured out to loose weight...
I should be doing something to loose weight...
I should be doing the dishes...
I should be figuring out what my family is going to eat for dinner...
I should be doing so many things, but yet, I feel like there is something else that needs to be done and I'm not sure what it is.
I should probably be excited about this opportunity I have at work for a possible promotion, but I have so many mixed feelings about it. Before I had them and just when I thought I had them figured out more would pop into my head. I know now. But I don't like my reasons for being hesitant and knowing them makes me even more shy to the promotion. But the reality is every ambitious bone in my body (which is pretty much all of them) is yelling, "YOU WANT THIS!" I should be excited and doing my all for this job, but here I am to tell you I am hesitant. I would never tell someone at work that. I'll take the job if offered to me, but I guess I want some sort of confirmation that this isn't just me being ambitious. I want to know that this is the right thing, and I do now. I just also want to know that they aren't going to get frustrated with me and do unprofessional things because life happens. The reason the position is open is because my friend who currently has it is pregnant and expecting in May. I want to get pregnant in May. I'm not telling them that because the chances are so slim. But the fact that there's a chance excites me more than any woman who has never had to struggle with getting pregnant could know.
I should want this job, and I do. I shouldn't be shy to it, but I am. But I think I am finally learning how to deal with that.
I go into the interview for it today, I don't interview well. But we will see. They have seen me prove myself time and again. Any sign of me getting sick or leaving and they freak out. They like me, they want me. The only question now, is there anyone better for the position? I don't think there will be. I'll let you all know in another post, I guess. But today I could use prayers. I want this job, even if I'm still fighting with the hesitancy.
God be with us all!