Those I Miss #3

So this person I miss isn't a member of my family, per say, but he is. I think I've decided he's kind of a sou-to cousin. When I was a little girl he was good friends with Johnny-boy and really liked Marpha. (Of course there are a lot of guys that fit that description when I was little.)
Thanks for being you Toad. Thanks for trying to always improve, and for letting me be a part of so much of your journey. Thanks for hanging out with my BetterHalf when he REALLY needed a guy friend instead of just his wife. And well Thanks for simply being you.
I truly think about you pretty much everyday.
Toad you could be a leader! (But I know that scares you.)
hhui p[hineas24fgtr43vbfvbhbkokgghkk m,mmmn,..lpp0-9iytwwgf jip]\47\ That's from Sierra to Uncle Toad.
You could and will make a big improvement in this world just please don't stop trying. I know life isn't easy for you but heck you don't care, and probably couldn't handle it if it were :P.
Toad has an ego his ego is the biggest I know, but I'll let you in on a secret. It's so big it doesn't really exist, he just hides behind it. But Toad is gentle, protective, spirited, hilarious, and really can dance. Though I think more people think of him with football or basketball, which I guess he's ok at. ;).
I think it's fun that the whole entry in his journal that my BetterHalf made on our wedding day is: "our good friend tood is hear and i get married today yeah!!!" (his spelling has gotten better since, as has his grammar.)
We both so desperately wanted him there, besides he sang our song for us at our wedding reception. Though I don't think he always believes it, Toad has a wonderful voice.
I hopefully await the day that Toad calls us to say we need to plan a trip to CA to accompany him into the temple.
Toad has no idea how many people's lives he has improved, and one day he just might sit back and realize that he is a good person.
We love you Toad, and miss you more than you know. We have many people that tell us we need to convince you to come back this way. I know you'll do what you need to, but I do hope that it'll bring you back this way at least for a visit some time.
Never forget you are worth it to us, we only wish we could do more for you. The song "You found out who your friends are" by Tracy Lawrence is Toad's song. While many songs make me think of Toad, this is the one that describes him right on. Thanks Toad, don't give up. God is with you and loves you more than you know. Sometimes I wish you were better able to read the letter you wrote me back in 2006.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jyafQe_2Do

The 2X4

so if you want to understand this blog you need to know that Mary is talking with italicized lettering and drew is the normal text

And there it is. :D

12/30/2005 mary and I met for the first time. It was at a birth day party for Anna Melugin who was at the time my girlfriends sister. It was at a time in my life where I was at an all time low. I was doing a lot of things I shouldn't. but anyway. at this b-day party we started to play "baby if you love me smile" which is a fun but "dangerous ;) " game. so of all the people there I really wasn't paying attention to Mary well it was more like me flirting with three girls at once. yes one of them being Marys sister Sorrel. so yeah I wasn't really noticing Mary but there was something that kept her in my mind through the next 7 months.Wait, what kept me in your mind for the next 7 months??? As far as me, he was fun. He was a guy that was playing with other girls and I had plenty else on my plate. All I really noticed was that he had hair that was fun to play with. Hey, I was 16 and had a boyfriend.

so then there is the next 6 months. we were talking sometimes but mostly she would come and hang out with liz "my on and off again girlfriend" this consisted mostly of midnight rushes to build theatrical sets. mary has plenty of funny stories of what I do when i'm tired and high off of caffeine.You know. After I moved to Utah I started working instead of going to school. There just wasn't time for Theater so when I was done with all my jobs for the day I would go to the OHS Theater and bring them food. I got to hang out with thespians, be near a stage, & do things for a show. So there was this one time I brought some food and when I got back from getting the drinks and food they all requested. "The Devil" (aka Cameron) and my BetterHalf were covered in paint, which happened quite often enough, (no we were actually the paintbrushes) and had been being yelled at by Liz. Liz yelled and yelled for my BetterHalf to go get cleaned up. The Devil had gotten cleaned up before it was really yelling. I simply gave my BetterHalf a glance said he should get cleaned up, in a calm voice. And after Liz did all that yelling. Well I was the one in trouble for her boyfriend obeying me after he ignored her.... Yeah.
I do think that it's worth stating that at one point in all this my BetterHalf was dating another of our friends and had upset MiJo. MiJo asked me to promise him I wouldn't date my BetterHalf. I couldn't make that promise. I just had this feeling that this was something more than MiJo had any idea about. I simply promised MiJo I would never date my BetterHalf the way he was at that time. Simply how he was at that time.

then came July, Mary had moved to Idaho and I was trying to figure out life.
we randomly found each other on Myspace (so now you know someone that got married because of myspace) and we started to talk and talk and talk.
I then got the fun but thought that it was impossible to happen idea that I would invite Mary, who lived in Idaho, to Lagoon on July 28. but to my amazement she said that she would come. I was very surprised. so Mary was coming down to Utah for girls camp and at the time it was my understanding that she would then go back to Idaho in August.

I loved being with the Nelsons. Andrew had started asking my advice on interesting things. At one point he asked me if he should date another girl or wait for "the girl from Mars" to come back. I told him that if he was just going to date her to waste time then he shouldn't. He took my advice. Then I got a message from Atlas telling me that I was the first really cute girl my BetterHalf had. Yeah, I corrected him that I wasn't his. But then my BetterHalf asked me to guess who the girl from Mars was. Guess who it was :D And little did I know that at Lagoon I would discover I was in love.

07/17/2006 so when she came into town i went over to her house to see her. when I got there all we did was stand next to my truck and talk. throughout our talking she told me that I had a b-day present. i tried to guess but was unable to find out what it was. so in desperation I got her to tell me. she said that my gift was her and that she was moving back to Orem for me. after she said this I chouldnt help but kiss her. her next sentence was. that better mean that we are in a relationship.
then we dated until November 26.

I didn't understand it. .... Wait, what do you mean by until? I'm sorry, but you better still be dating me :P. ... I just knew that every time I prayed about it there was no question. No matter what it cost me I needed to be there for my BetterHalf. The Lord wanted him to have me at that point. I quit my job, and... Well, originally I wasn't going to tell him. I was going to get a huge box and wrap myself in it, then leave myself on his doorstep. Ah, he was irresistible.

11/26/2006 we became engaged. Although we had started to talk about marriage it was still going to be awhile until I proposed. so any way i should start at the beginning. It was early in evening and mary and I decided that we wanted to go hang out with her cousin State Street. on the way to her house we got a little distracted and decied we wanted to go "talk" at the scera park. (but as many of you might think that we did something more we really didn't) so anyway. we were talking about a lot of different things and I kept ignoring the idea that we needed to get married. I mean a lot of ignoring of the idea. so finally after probably half a hour i got hit with a literal spiritual 2X4. it was amazing. it was the strongest that I had ever previously felt the spirit,
so I proposed.

This wasn't easy. This wasn't what we had planned. We wanted this, but we didn't want it that young. We didn't understand, we couldn't understand. We simply knew it needed to happen. I found my better half. He completes me. I'm more enveloped in his love than I ever would have guessed.

so we got ready to get married but that is another story.

Those I Miss, Dos

A while back I filled up my last journal, then I tried using other notebooks, this didn't work. Mainly my LittleOne would get to it and it would get torn apart. So I found an old journal of my BetterHalf's and I have been writing in it. Since he has only partially written in it and sometimes still does, I decided to start writing in the back and move forward instead of forward-back. Anyway! So yesterday I got a little bored at work. (I usually write in my journal at work between calls.) I started reading all of Andrew's entries. And it reminded me of someone I already was missing and have been meaning to e-mail for a while.
In my BetterHalf's journal from when he got it at age 8 till we were married there is one reference of his brother A Scott, one reference of MomJ, one reference of DadJ, one reference of Sissy, and one reference to MRJ. But there are two references to KJ. All people mentioned are irreplaceable.
KJ has always held a special place for us. The first reference of KJ was stating that she was going on a date. The other reference simply stated that he missed KJ and MRJ.
KJ came into my BetterHalf's life when he was a young boy and has left permanent footsteps in his life. She is strong. She is dedicated, and she understands that she's never alone. Many times when I haven't known what to do in life KJ has helped us. My BetterHalf has always held a special spot for her.
KJ you ARE a shining light for so many people. You understand so much better then is given credit. You have given up so much for what you hold dear. I have learned much from you and am more grateful for you than we could show. We would love to come see you, all of you, soon. KJ, Thank you. You are beautiful, and we want you to know that you deserve to be treated. We want you to know how special you are to us. Thanks, KJ, thanks.

Those I Miss1

There's so much that takes up time. I don't know how some people find time for everything, even myself sometimes. Some days it seems like I have all this extra time even with all my goals, even though that's rare. Most days I just have to pick one maybe two things and hope I get them done and then down the list. My days are lists of priorities just going down the list over and over again. I don't mind, I like being busy. To waste time is one of my worst thoughts. So the point I am getting to is this.
I love so many people, but there isn't time to communicate with them as often as I would like, and definitely not enough time to let them know how much I love them. So on the way home from work I started thinking about how I could dedicate a post to some people.
So this one is to Kare-Bear.
A while back Karen put a video on her blog. Kare-Bear is an amazing girl. She could do almost anything she wants to. Sure she needs to learn patience, and how to prioritize things. But if something matters to Karen I would hate to be the thing standing in her way. She can be shy, but that doesn't stop her. She's responsible when she wants to be. And One thing I have always admired in Karen is her desire for life.
Kare-Bear its ok to take things slower, and it's ok to be a little lost. Just remember that sometimes the answers you want are already there, just listen. You are amazing because you are unique and you are worth learning patience and everything that goes with it.
So here it is Kare-Bear. You aren't alone even though you feel it. And even if you don't understand, doesn't mean you can't trust. Sometimes twiterpation is something different than you have ever had any idea of before. You'll learn. I know it might be weird to have me say give life time, because I have just flown thru life. But you aren't alone. You aren't a bad girl. And you ARE Amazing.
Here's the blog I hope you'll remember. And while I don't think you care for what I have to say a good portion of the time. I do love you more than you will ever know.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lydBPm2KRaU&ob=av2nm

Almost There

When I graduated High School I knew exactly what I wanted and had the plan on how to get there...Then life happened.
Instead of chasing my dreams I fell in love and traded my plans for my Eternal Love. We were married on April 20, 2007. Now I still dream, but it's on the back burner. I guess that's why I love the movie the Princess and the Frog so much. I'm still going to get my dreams, I'm just still "Almost There".
I wouldn't trade my dreams for my reality any day. Especially with our little girl. Our LittleOne was born July 11, 2008.
Right now I work for BRG Research Services doing surveys, trying to make ends meet while my Amazing Man is going to school. He's going into Criminal Justice, emphasis in Juvenile Justice. He's amazing. We've had our 'Trials and Tribulations', and we definitely haven't understood everything. But I can't express how grateful I am to have a job to go to. To have a husband who is so brilliant. And to have a little girl who reminds us why we go through what we do. She's beautiful, smart, and full of dreams. (NOT TO MENTION A LITTLE FLIRT! Complete with imaginary boy friends.)So that's us and while we live our happily ever after, with all its bumps in the road. We're still "Almost There".