Day 30 of the 30 Day Challenge

Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss

I just asked LittleOne who she missed, she said Kare-Bear. Since she just saw Kare-Bear last night and is going to hang out with her again tonight I asked her for another person. She said Kare-Bear's Beau. So this is Kare-Bear and her Beau. They just got engaged, and I am praying for all the joy that could ever want in their marriage.
This is Mr. Sincere. He's my younger brother. I miss him so much! I can't express it. There's not much I wouldn't do for him. There were some issues a little while back, and he stopped seeing us regularly because of it. I don't blame him. Though I do feel bad for not doing more for him in everything that happened. I wouldn't blame him if he didn't want to claim me any more. He wouldn't be the first self-adopted brother to. Anyway. I miss you Mr. Sincere. I should find out if I have the right phone number for him at this point. I do keep you in my prayers, Mr. Sincere, I hope you are progressing and finding goodness in life. I don't know if you can ever forgive us for not being there for you. But we really do love you. Please consider forgiving us sometime, and know that you'll always be my younger brother.
This is once again MRJ and KJ and their family. MRJ is my BetterHalf's oldest brother. And lately they have had some good times. I know that my BetterHalf misses all of them, but especially MRJ a lot. He talks about him, he also talks about wanting to go to Washington state to visit them. I don't think it will happen any time soon but the desire is there.

Day 29 of the 30 Day Challenge

Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile

This is Cinderella, and TooTall. Cinderella always makes me smile, as does her family. I decided a while back that she looks like what Cinderella looks like in my minds eye. This picture makes me think of that.
TooTall is her husband, and one of the superheros in my life. I can't wait to get to meet their new baby boy. But this picture makes us think of many things. For one it always makes LittleOne smile because seeing Cinderella ALWAYS gets her excited. She use to call her 'Aunt Pretty'.
My BetterHalf and I were so excited to go to this wedding, this picture also reminds us of good times. It was hard for my BetterHalf because of the long car ride. But it's something we wouldn't have missed for anything. This picture always makes us smile because of the beautiful event, and the beautiful people.

Day 28 of the 30 Day Challenge

Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of

I think something that all three of us fear is not having another member to our family being added. We probably shouldn't let it be a fear. But just the other day LittleOne was telling us that she needs a baby sister. My BetterHalf and I partially fear how we would provide should we get what we want. But that fear is nothing compared to the fear of never having another one. I want to be pregnant. I want to be expecting. I want more children. I'm ok with one day adopting, but that day just seems so distant. I have been told by the Holy Spirit that there will be another, so I shouldn't fear. But I'm not perfect and I do.
My BetterHalf is going to be on a fertility treatment here in a week and that should help him medically with other stuff as well. We are hoping this will go somewhere. But when I sought out that information from the Divine. I received a 'just wait and find out'. I will be patient. I'm trying not to fear. I know we all are. But you know, when you want something that bad? I know a couple people that know exactly what I'm talking about.
Some of my friends at work recently found out that their bodies won't let them have children ever so we have all been joining together in our sorrow, them a little more than me. Their chances are even slimmer though. My problem isn't with me, its with my BetterHalf (who is SO worth it even with this). One day. I'll be patient. I just have to trust and let that take over instead of the fear.

Day 27 of the 30 Day Challenge

Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member
(So that it is known, this was done simply by choosing the first pictures I found of each of us with someone we're related to but isn't eachother. No one was meant to be excluded.)

This is my BetterHalf with TC. He completes our amazing StateStreet (for those that don't know or remember, StateStreet is my cousin) now. They were married in December 2010 in the Mt. Timpanogos Temple. At the time of this picture TC was staying with us (or was semi staying with us, he did that for a while before he actually started staying with us). Him and my BetterHalf get a long great. Which is AWESOME! StateStreet and I wandered a couple times what would happen if our hubbies didn't get along. I'm glad to never have to find out. My BetterHalf and TC can talk for hours about so many things, and if they get tired of that they just start playing a game together. Oh yes. I love these two men. Though of course one MUCH better than the other :P.

This is my amazing Kare-Bear. I've already talked on here so much about her. But that's because she's worth it and has a big influence in our lives, always will. Nothing could ever replace or substitute or whatever her place. I miss her alot. LittleOne was talking about her earlier, we almost called to invite her to dinner tonight. Then I remembered that it's Sunday. She never spends a Sunday with us, even when she lived with us she pretty much never did. Sundays are always with her future inlaws. I'm glad she gets along with them. I just wonder why things have had to be the way that they are, in some ways, lately. I thought we were making progress at one point. But well. I just won't ever mean as much to her as I thought I did. And I'm learning to be ok with that. I'm just glad that she does have the people in her life that mean SO MUCH to her. She really does have some great role models she looks to. And I know one day she'll make a great wife and Mother. I really think her fiance could be a great missionary, but for her sake I kind of hope she won't have to wait that long to get married.

And this is once again TC with my LittleOne. TC is great with kids and LittleOne absolutely loves playing with him. He's a great tickler, plus mostly just fun to be around. When he first moved in with us, we asked LittleOne what she thought of that. First she said it was ok, and then she freaked out saying he was going to 'get her' (meaning tickle her). Don't worry, he did and she loved it. Still does. I'm glad TC is around. And I'm SO glad that StateStreet has him to help take care of her. Especially since I know she's still healing from the last year more than she wants most others to know. We really need to hang out with them soon.

Day 26 of the 30 Day Challenge

Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you


The Temple, here specifically the Provo, Utah Temple. We were married here and our family sealed together. My BetterHalf's parents were married here and thus sealed their family together. And in another temple my parents were married and sealed us together. The temple is important to all of us. LittleOne already can't wait to go inside one. She has asked me a couple times when she can go in. Here we have received promises, here we have made promises. LittleOne, is named after a mountain which are symbols or the original natural temples. I can't even express how much it means to us. When we were engaged we decided all our daughters shall be named after mountains, temples. Oh yes we love the temple, the Provo temple, more than can be expressed.

Day 25 of the 30 Day Challenge

Day 25 - A picture of your day
Yeah. Here we go..... (Though admittedly these aren't necessarily from this day but rather from an every day activity around here)....

The day usually begins with one of us taking CookieMonster to school or work, and then going back to bed for a bit. Then whenever I feel rested or LittleOne does, we get up. LittleOne is NOT a morning person and insists on cuddles when she first wakes up. She likes cuddles quite a bit. So we usually cuddle and watch DisneyJunior or a movie.
Then the day consists of whatever needs to be done that day- cleaning, cooking, phone calls, or whatever. We eventually race to my room and wake up my BetterHalf with a big hug and I love yous.
More things to do and then I head to work, or if they need the car they give me a ride. Either way I give loves and leave to annoy people with phone calls asking for their time. From what I understand the next thing that usually happens is LittleOne & my BetterHalf's cuddletime. Then they do things like build forts or visit people and all sorts of that stuff. Oh and can't forget Legos. LittleOne loves legos.
By the time I get home from work it's around 10pm. So we unwind & I have dinner then we start getting LittleOne ready for bed. Which often leads to LittleOne trying to convince us to let her sleep in the living room.
We win in the end and after prayers (sometimes with CookieMonster, if shes home and awake) & scriptures which are often done like this- using a book with scripture pictures that leads to a discussion. Other times its actually reading scriptures. Then more cuddles, and loves. And bed time for LittleOne. After relaxing a little more and possibly getting other needs done. Often some cleaning. We all head to bed.

Day 24 of the 30 Day Challenge

Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change
So this comes back to the title of this Blog. We don't understand it, and are quite a bit grateful for all of it. But if we could we would probably change all of the medical problems we have been through. I'm sure they have a purpose. I'm sure there is much good there and we have progressed. But still.... I'm not sure it's something we would choose in any way. And definitely have wanted to change it, MANY times.

Day 23 of the 30 Day Challenge

Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book
Besides the beautiful truths found in scriptures, which you can find here.
My favorite book is Elantris. It is amazing! It's a fantasy book, and brings its own group of imagination. It's full of symbolism and with most things while I can guess what's coming next this one I couldn't. I hadn't even heard of it until I got married, my BetterHalf owned it and said we should read it together. I quickly left him behind in the dust and have read it a couple dozen times since then. Absolutely love Brandon Sanderson's work!
My BetterHalf's favorite book, well he had a hard time deciding. He really likes to read, and no doubt Orson Scott Card is his favorite author. He finally decided on Ender's game, which isn't one he has gotten me to read yet, so I really can't tell you much about it.LittleOne has been favoring this one lately. Last Halloween Kare-Bear, who's LittleOne's Best Friend, was Alice & her beau was the Mad Hatter. So every time LittleOne sees either character she gets all excited and tells me it's them. This book has also convinced her that she needs to go to DisneyLand and meet some of the characters.

Day 22 of the 30 Day Challenge

Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at

There are LOTS of things I wish I could do better but the most is:
Balance. I wish I was better at balancing life. I need to do more with LittleOne. I need to give my BetterHalf more attention. I need to take better care of myself, and my personal goals, AND SO MUCH more. So, Balance.
My BetterHalf would like to sing better. With lots of practice and time we haven't found yet this is VERY possible & feasible.
LittleOne has none that are applicable (her lack of experience is to amount to this.)

Day 21 of the 30 Day Challenge

Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forgetThis is a picture of black nothingness, for I know nothing that I wish to forget. Forgetting doesn't change it, and doesn't change what it has already done to any of us. No thing.

Day 20 of the 30 Day Challenge

Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel

There's lots of places we would love to travel to. Washington, Idaho, California, New Mexico; but you know those are all to see the people there. I think the one place we all want to visit to see the place... well again there's a couple of those.
First is probably:
Alaska. I love the cold, I have always wanted to visit Alaska. We all love the wild and open outdoors. And of course my BetterHalf REALLY wants to try the fishing there.

The next one is:Ireland. We both are descendants of Ireland (as well as England, Scotland, France, etc.) But both of LittleOne's Maternal Great-Grandparents served missions together in Ireland. I have always felt an awe for pictures of it. I have always wanted to visit and see how much green there is for myself. Again we really like the open doors. I think LittleOne would find it fascinating. I have a connection to it, and would love to be there. I also love the origins of things. And to know how and why things use to be done. I like to keep traditions alive.

Day 19 of the 30 Day Challenge

Day 19 - A picture and a letter

Bephoney & your Family-
We can not express how excited we are to go see you at the end of the month. As it is we feel so deeply in debt to you and wish we could be doing more for you as we come. Not only have you been a wonderful example to me and only now do I learn every day more and more about your strength as I go through my own trials. But I have always appreciated it as I could understand it. RLN has been a big brother to me in so many hours that I needed it, I don't think he even knows. Those times weren't as prominent as it was in some other sisters, but just as needed and appreciated.
As you opened your arms to me RLN helped my BetterHalf learn so much more about what so many things mean and how to accomplish them. Although I don't think you know it, our short time with you helped mold some important aspects for us. Part of that was in how it helped me open my eyes to how little I know, and how much more can be learned if I close my mouth and observe in different ways then I had been.
Thank you. Now I'm not saying any of you are perfect, just that we are grateful for what you are. What all of you are. JM will become an amazing young man, we have no doubt. We are so excited to be there as LR makes this big decision in his life. LittleOne I'm sure won't be able to get enough of LT, who I'm sure is much different now.
Thank you for letting us be a part. Thank you for just being you. Thank you for loving us, and with that love letting us learn. While I worry about making you feel like we will expect too much, we really don't expect much. Just appreciate what you have given.
Thank you!
-MDJ, ABJ, SNJ

Day 18 of the 30 Day Challenge

Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity

Biggest insecurity.... where do I even begin. First off there is NO WAY I would put my biggest insecurity on a place where the public eyes or even most eyes that know me can see. That's not how things should go, you don't put your 'dirty laundry on the front lawn', so to speak.
So. I will say this. While I am struggling with my insecurities a lot they have probably been published more than they should. Even though that may stand true. I will answer this as:
If you want to know. Ask. About any of ours. I know what mine is (I think), I'm pretty sure on my BetterHalf's, and I have guesses on my sweet LittleOne's. So yes, if you want to know, ask.

Day 17 of the 30 Day Challenge

Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

May 11th, 2009, Mother's Day, BetterHalf received an e-mail that he was accepted into UVU in the Technical Theatrical department. It was a wonderful Mother's Day. We had spent the first part of the day with MomJ and the last part with Madre.
The next day my BetterHalf went to help DadJ trim GDot's tree. As he was climbing down the ladder, the ladder just started falling to pieces beneath him. He fell twenty feet and shattered his L1 and L2. I was at home, which was next door, playing the piano while LittleOne was taking a nap. I must have been playing louder than I thought because I didn't even hear the ambulance come down the street. But DadJ called MomJ and she came and got me. She brought me to the hospital. KJ watched LittleOne for us. They did a scan and discovered his problem. Almost immediately they got the best surgeon in the state there to take care of his back. Elder Hafen (who lived right across the street from us) just happened to be having an appointment with the surgeon. He came rushing over with the surgeon. He came and with the assistance of the Preisthood holders present gave my BetterHalf a blessing. Which was the only thing that really seemed to help him with the pain previously to going into surgery. After about 10 hours of surgery he came out looking pretty good, for his condition. Over the next couple of days I received help in keeping my BetterHalf company, especially since I wasn't allowed to sleep in the ICU, but could be there all but from I think it was 4 - 6. After about 3 days he was transfered out of the ICU and into the regular Hospital. He was in the regular hospital less than a day before they came, got him to stand up, with a brace on and some help. They transfered him to the physical rehabilitation area. He was amazing. The therapists referred to him as Superman. Everytime they asked him to do something he would do twice as much as they wanted. Dario was his main therapist, he quickly learned to ask my BetterHalf to do half as much as he wanted. A couple days before Dario wanted my BetterHalf insisted on standing up and walking without help from someone else. (Though he was holding on to some bars for support.) It was amazing, he's amazing. In less than a month he was home. It was one step at a time. Slowly up and down stairs, slowly taking trips one at a time. Never pushing further than the back allowed. Some days he couldn't get up, most he pushed himself as far as possible. Swimming is something that helps. He still has to take it easier than he likes. Every now and then he has issues. He's strong. He's amazing. He has now been cleared to do as much as he can without pain. One step at a time. :D

Day 16 of the 30 Day Challenge

Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you


This is Jerry Elison, or Mr. E. He has been one of the most inspiring people in my life, if not the most, with his wife Barbara since I came to Utah. And I know he has been one of if not the most inspiring person in my Betterhalf's life. He's active, brilliant, and makes the world a better place. He tells you as it is. And while doing so makes you feel like you can accomplish all necessary. My LittleOne knows him as Grandpa E. We will always be in E's debt.

Day 15 of the 30 Day Challenge

Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die

My BetterHalf has always wanted to visit Israel. It's not eactly realistic, but that's ok. We will do our best. I would love to go with him there.

Currently LittleOne keeps saying how she wants to go to Disneyland, though I'm sure she wants to do much more before she dies. Afterall she's only been around for two and a half years. My BetterHalf and I have been discussing when to take her there since before she was born. Yeah, it WILL happen.
Before I die I want to have my dinner theater. I want to fulfill my dreams and do what i love so much. I want an out for my passions!