Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of
I think something that all three of us fear is not having another member to our family being added. We probably shouldn't let it be a fear. But just the other day LittleOne was telling us that she needs a baby sister. My BetterHalf and I partially fear how we would provide should we get what we want. But that fear is nothing compared to the fear of never having another one. I want to be pregnant. I want to be expecting. I want more children. I'm ok with one day adopting, but that day just seems so distant. I have been told by the Holy Spirit that there will be another, so I shouldn't fear. But I'm not perfect and I do.
My BetterHalf is going to be on a fertility treatment here in a week and that should help him medically with other stuff as well. We are hoping this will go somewhere. But when I sought out that information from the Divine. I received a 'just wait and find out'. I will be patient. I'm trying not to fear. I know we all are. But you know, when you want something that bad? I know a couple people that know exactly what I'm talking about.
Some of my friends at work recently found out that their bodies won't let them have children ever so we have all been joining together in our sorrow, them a little more than me. Their chances are even slimmer though. My problem isn't with me, its with my BetterHalf (who is SO worth it even with this). One day. I'll be patient. I just have to trust and let that take over instead of the fear.