Four Years Into Eternity

As of April 20th My BetterHalf and I reached our four year wedding anniversary. We did pictures, like we always do. We went to Scera Park where he proposed & a lot of our dating hang outs were. CookieMonster did them & I love them! But when we got there to do them, neither CookieMonster or my BetterHalf saw a backdrop they really liked. So we did some around the play ground then went home and found lots of great spots. Yay!
The rest of the day was spent running errands and then our date. It was a great date. I have an amazing husband!
(I swear he has a picture just like this one every year that we do pictures, meaning from this angle and with this expression.) My truly BetterHalf, and the half that brings out the best in me.
You can't really tell here but I'm wearing my anniversary present. My BetterHalf used walmart.com to make me a necklace charm that is a small framed picture of our family. I Love it! And I am excited about my new dress here that MomJ & DadJ gave me for my birthday.

The top one in this group, I'm pretty sure is my BetterHalf's favorite of the two of us, but I'm rather partial to the second one and this last one. His face expressions in both are genuine and sincere. And in this last one, well that's one of my favorite things. To just watch him describe something.

Our precious LittleOne. She makes everything worth it. We don't always know what we need to do to help her discover and explore but we try. She is so much fun! She is definitely a Princess to us and our LittleOne.

LittleOne gives attitude, and loves to tease. But there's a reason her Daddy was the first to hold her. She has always been a Daddy's Little Girl but in her own special way.


I have the most wonderful daughter. I pray each day that I'll know what else she could use of me doing or saying for her.



Thanks my BetterHalf for everything. And thank you LittleOne. You are the best things in my life!

4. Those I miss

Today is my AuntV's birthday. She is the strongest person I have ever met, emotionally. She was always doing things for me, small things. Like getting me a birthday present when she really couldn't afford it, or making sure to have mushrooms on a veggie platter because she knows they are my favorite. She is so much fun, so accepting, and so giving.
She died last fall.
I miss her so much, though I'm sure not as much as her kids. I know her younger ones were handeling it well last time I talked to them, and moving on well enough. But her two older girls, who are two of my favorite people (and nothing could ever change that!), I know haven't really faced it yet and are still trying to cope.
I've been planning for months to visit her graveside today but because of spme things that came up last night I don't know if that will happen.
The other day I heard this song on my way home from work & it describes a lot of what I'm feeling today.
If Heaven wasn't So Far away
I miss you AuntV, we all do.

Day 30 of the 30 Day Challenge

Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss

I just asked LittleOne who she missed, she said Kare-Bear. Since she just saw Kare-Bear last night and is going to hang out with her again tonight I asked her for another person. She said Kare-Bear's Beau. So this is Kare-Bear and her Beau. They just got engaged, and I am praying for all the joy that could ever want in their marriage.
This is Mr. Sincere. He's my younger brother. I miss him so much! I can't express it. There's not much I wouldn't do for him. There were some issues a little while back, and he stopped seeing us regularly because of it. I don't blame him. Though I do feel bad for not doing more for him in everything that happened. I wouldn't blame him if he didn't want to claim me any more. He wouldn't be the first self-adopted brother to. Anyway. I miss you Mr. Sincere. I should find out if I have the right phone number for him at this point. I do keep you in my prayers, Mr. Sincere, I hope you are progressing and finding goodness in life. I don't know if you can ever forgive us for not being there for you. But we really do love you. Please consider forgiving us sometime, and know that you'll always be my younger brother.
This is once again MRJ and KJ and their family. MRJ is my BetterHalf's oldest brother. And lately they have had some good times. I know that my BetterHalf misses all of them, but especially MRJ a lot. He talks about him, he also talks about wanting to go to Washington state to visit them. I don't think it will happen any time soon but the desire is there.

Day 29 of the 30 Day Challenge

Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile

This is Cinderella, and TooTall. Cinderella always makes me smile, as does her family. I decided a while back that she looks like what Cinderella looks like in my minds eye. This picture makes me think of that.
TooTall is her husband, and one of the superheros in my life. I can't wait to get to meet their new baby boy. But this picture makes us think of many things. For one it always makes LittleOne smile because seeing Cinderella ALWAYS gets her excited. She use to call her 'Aunt Pretty'.
My BetterHalf and I were so excited to go to this wedding, this picture also reminds us of good times. It was hard for my BetterHalf because of the long car ride. But it's something we wouldn't have missed for anything. This picture always makes us smile because of the beautiful event, and the beautiful people.

Day 28 of the 30 Day Challenge

Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of

I think something that all three of us fear is not having another member to our family being added. We probably shouldn't let it be a fear. But just the other day LittleOne was telling us that she needs a baby sister. My BetterHalf and I partially fear how we would provide should we get what we want. But that fear is nothing compared to the fear of never having another one. I want to be pregnant. I want to be expecting. I want more children. I'm ok with one day adopting, but that day just seems so distant. I have been told by the Holy Spirit that there will be another, so I shouldn't fear. But I'm not perfect and I do.
My BetterHalf is going to be on a fertility treatment here in a week and that should help him medically with other stuff as well. We are hoping this will go somewhere. But when I sought out that information from the Divine. I received a 'just wait and find out'. I will be patient. I'm trying not to fear. I know we all are. But you know, when you want something that bad? I know a couple people that know exactly what I'm talking about.
Some of my friends at work recently found out that their bodies won't let them have children ever so we have all been joining together in our sorrow, them a little more than me. Their chances are even slimmer though. My problem isn't with me, its with my BetterHalf (who is SO worth it even with this). One day. I'll be patient. I just have to trust and let that take over instead of the fear.

Day 27 of the 30 Day Challenge

Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member
(So that it is known, this was done simply by choosing the first pictures I found of each of us with someone we're related to but isn't eachother. No one was meant to be excluded.)

This is my BetterHalf with TC. He completes our amazing StateStreet (for those that don't know or remember, StateStreet is my cousin) now. They were married in December 2010 in the Mt. Timpanogos Temple. At the time of this picture TC was staying with us (or was semi staying with us, he did that for a while before he actually started staying with us). Him and my BetterHalf get a long great. Which is AWESOME! StateStreet and I wandered a couple times what would happen if our hubbies didn't get along. I'm glad to never have to find out. My BetterHalf and TC can talk for hours about so many things, and if they get tired of that they just start playing a game together. Oh yes. I love these two men. Though of course one MUCH better than the other :P.

This is my amazing Kare-Bear. I've already talked on here so much about her. But that's because she's worth it and has a big influence in our lives, always will. Nothing could ever replace or substitute or whatever her place. I miss her alot. LittleOne was talking about her earlier, we almost called to invite her to dinner tonight. Then I remembered that it's Sunday. She never spends a Sunday with us, even when she lived with us she pretty much never did. Sundays are always with her future inlaws. I'm glad she gets along with them. I just wonder why things have had to be the way that they are, in some ways, lately. I thought we were making progress at one point. But well. I just won't ever mean as much to her as I thought I did. And I'm learning to be ok with that. I'm just glad that she does have the people in her life that mean SO MUCH to her. She really does have some great role models she looks to. And I know one day she'll make a great wife and Mother. I really think her fiance could be a great missionary, but for her sake I kind of hope she won't have to wait that long to get married.

And this is once again TC with my LittleOne. TC is great with kids and LittleOne absolutely loves playing with him. He's a great tickler, plus mostly just fun to be around. When he first moved in with us, we asked LittleOne what she thought of that. First she said it was ok, and then she freaked out saying he was going to 'get her' (meaning tickle her). Don't worry, he did and she loved it. Still does. I'm glad TC is around. And I'm SO glad that StateStreet has him to help take care of her. Especially since I know she's still healing from the last year more than she wants most others to know. We really need to hang out with them soon.